


Make Wine From Your Tears

by jule1122



Series: Never Tear Us Apart [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Alex Manes Needs a Hug, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergent, Canon-Typical Violence, Episode Tag, Jesse Manes is a War Crime, Kidnapping, M/M, Michael Guerin would kill for Alex Manes, No character hate, miluca breakup, supportive friendships only
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-05-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24432493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jule1122/pseuds/jule1122
Summary: Bomb or no bomb, Michael wasn't leaving without Alex or the angsty 2x10 coda that has a three day shelf life before becoming completely AU
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Never Tear Us Apart [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775917
Comments: 28
Kudos: 201





	Make Wine From Your Tears

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the INXS song "Never Tear Us Apart" because it is just dramatic enough for Michael's mode in this story.

Michael doesn’t stay long after he gives Maria the bracelet. He tells himself she needs time to process everything they learned today, but the truth is, he’s the one that needs time. He can’t stop thinking about what happened with Alex. Something about their conversation felt off. Not the fight, not the parts where they went after each other’s weak spots. No, that felt all too right for their interactions lately. But the rest of it, Alex asking for and actually taking the console piece over Michael’s objections, even the way Alex said goodnight, felt wrong.

He drives to Alex’s, but there is no car in the driveway, and all the lights are out. He can’t imagine Alex went right to Jesse after leaving the bunker, but he isn’t going to chase after him. Michael spends a restless night sleeping fitfully and picking through every word Alex said to him for some clue he might have missed. He does his best not to dwell on how Alex talked about leaving the planet because he’s not ready to think about what Alex really meant.

The next morning, he calls Alex three times. After all of his voicemails and texts go unanswered, he caves in the early afternoon and calls Valenti who tells him Alex is on a recruiting trip. Michael knows he doesn’t have the right to be pissed that Alex didn’t tell him he’d be out of town, but can’t stop thinking that there’s something he’s missing. He’s heading back to the airstream after an increasingly frustrating day when he sees the alien schematic Alex had shown him stuck under the tire of a junker.

He tries to stay calm as he sends a quick group text to see if anyone has talked to Alex since they came back from the reservation. Liz is the only one who responds, telling him she’d called Alex last night and left an urgent voicemail, but he’d never called back. 

It takes longer then he’d like to convince Max he isn’t overreacting and to please have Cameron reach out to her Air Force contacts and find out exactly where Alex is. He knows it’s all fucked to hell when Max shows up at the airstream instead of calling him back. He uses his best deputy voice to tell Michael that Alex never showed up for his trip. He drones on about how they can’t assume the worst, that Alex could have been delayed for a legitimate reason.

But Michael isn’t listening. He’s in his truck and on his way to beat some answers out of Jesse Manes before Max is done talking. The satisfaction of hitting him in the ribs with his own cane doesn’t come close to outweighing the crushing realization that he’s leaving with no answers and playing right into Jesse’s hands.

There’s a lot Michael doesn’t remember about the next four days. He spirals fast and hard, taking every minute Alex is missing as a personal failure. He snaps at anyone who tells him to calm down or rest, reminding them unkindly that Alex would be home by now if they would just _try harder._

There’s been no sign of Jesse or Flint for over twenty-four hours when Michael asks Maria to come to the bunker. He knows he tipped Jesse off, and he needs to make it right. Maria’s been to the bunker before, she knows there is a method to his chaos, but he sees the way she looks at the maps he has scattered over every surface, the Caulfield files laying open among them.

“I need you to track him,” he says before she can comment on the state of the bunker.

“I’ve tried.”

“Then track his father,” he snaps.

“I’ve tried that too. I told you”

“Then try harder,” he cuts her off looking pointedly at the bracelet he gave her.

“Michael! I took it off.”

He looks away, he knows he’s being unfair, but he can’t bring himself to care.

“I even asked Mom to look.” She approaches him cautiously, and he hates the look of sympathy in her eyes. “You know I want to find him too, but there’s nothing.”

“Dammit!” Michael looks at the ceiling, hands pulling at his hair. “I should have had Isobel get into Jesse’s mind before he could disappear.”

“You would ask her to do that?”

“To save Alex? I’d do it myself if I knew how.”

Maria shakes her head. “Going into a mind like Jesse’s, one filled with so much evil, would be dangerous.”

“More dangerous than leaving Alex at his mercy? Not that it matters now. Alex is gone, I know Jesse has him, but I can’t find a way to save him.” Michael buries his face in his hands, pressing hard against his eyes.

“Michael, this isn’t your fault.”

She touches his arm gently, but he pulls away. “You don’t understand.”

“Then tell me.”

When he looks at her, Maria doesn’t look angry or surprised, and he knows they’re past the point of pretending. “I can’t lose him, Maria. Not ever, but not like this.” Michael paces a bit before continuing. “I fucked up when he left for the Air Force. I got the Sheriff to throw my ass in jail so I wouldn’t have to watch him go. I had ten years to regret that, to wonder if I would get another chance. And when he finally comes back, alive and beautiful, instead of fixing anything, I can’t stop being pissed about the ten years we lost.”

“He doesn’t blame you.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Michael shakes his head. “I gave him so much shit for leaving, for walking away, but I knew he’d always come back. If he doesn’t come back this time, I let him go,” Michael’s voice breaks, but now that he’s started, he can’t stop. “I let him go thinking I looked away, that I didn’t believe we would end up together, that everything we talked about before he left, I wanted with someone else, that he wasn’t worth the effort of being good for. I can’t live with that.”

“He’s coming back,” Maria says fiercely, wiping her eyes. “But what would you want him to know?”

That I love him, that there’s no future for me without him in it, Michael thinks. But saying those things to Maria feels like giving up on Alex so he shakes his head. “He gets to hear it first.”

Maria actually smiles then, and Michael feels like somehow in the middle of destroying their relationship by basically admitting he neve stopped loving Alex, and he never will, he said something right. “ _When_ we find him, after you tell him everything you need to say, you hug him for me. And you tell him not to worry about me because I know how easy it is for you to love him, and that he deserves that love more than anyone in the world, or I guess now I should say the universe.”

“You’re the best,” Michael tells her sincerely.

“You have to promise me one thing. No more fucking up. You two make it work because you’re not putting yourselves, or anyone else,” she adds a little pointedly, “through this again.”

“That’s the plan.”

“So,” Maria looks around the bunker. “How can I help?”

It’s another three days before they figure out where Alex is being held. Michael is left out of the tactical planning. He’s given the one job they trust him to complete: storm the building and find Alex. The facility is small, a fraction of the size of Caulfield, but the few minutes it takes to locate Alex feels like hours.

Michael finds him in a barren room, with an empty cell in the corner. Alex is sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, hands bound behind the back of the chair. He’s sitting ramrod straight, looking ahead, face expressionless. Michael can see how tired he is, can see a few bruises on his face, but he’s the most beautiful thing Michael ever seen.

“Alex,” Michael rushes toward him

“Don’t touch me!” Alex barks before Michael has crossed half the distance between them.

“Alex,” Michael says again, slowing to a stop. He doesn’t know what they’ve done to Alex, doesn’t want to spook him. “I’m not going to hurt you. I came to take you home.”

“I know that Guerin,” Alex snaps. “But there’s a bomb, and if you touch me, this whole place implodes.”

Michael looks around frantically, but he doesn’t see anything. He tries to see if there is anything he can manipulate telekinetically, but other than door locks, he doesn’t sense anything.

“There’s a pressure switch in the floor, right underneath me,” Alex explains matter of factly. “Any increase or decrease in pressure triggers the detonator.”

“Jesus Christ,” Michael turns away for a second, wipes his face with his hands. What kind of monster, no, Michael knows exactly what kind of monster, but he asks anyway. “Who took you Alex?”

“My father, Flint, there were a few other guards, but they weren’t important, just muscle. Listen, Michael, I didn’t give him the console piece,” Alex says, looking at Michael intently, as if that’s why Michael is there. “I knew he was listening to me, and I was trying to draw him out. I switched the backpacks before they grabbed me. Look under the airstream, and you’ll find. I need you to know I would never do that to you.” 

“Do you think I care about that?” Michael practically shouts. “It’s a piece of fucking glass, it’s not worth you getting hurt.” He takes a step forward, but Alex stops him again.

“Michael, you have to leave. I’m not going to be able to do this forever. It’s just a matter of time,” Alex tells him, all urgency gone from his voice, like he’s already accepted his own death.

“I’m not leaving you, Alex.”

Alex looks like he wants to argue, but instead he asks, “Who else is here?”

“Max, Liz, Kyle, Greg, Isobel, and Kyle. Cameron too, but she took after a vehicle we passed.”

“You have to get them out. If you don’t go, they’ll be here when the bomb goes off. You have to get them out, and then you all have to leave. It’s okay.”

“Fuck,” Michael knows Alex is partly right. He has to get everyone else out, but he’s not leaving. “I’ll be right back. Just hold on.”

He’s almost to the door when Alex calls his name. “Michael, I”

“No!” Michael does shout this time. He knows that look in Alex’s eyes, and he’s not going to let him say goodbye. “I’ll be right back. You wait for me or I won’t go.” He holds Alex’s gaze until he nods.

A quick call to Max gets everyone gathered outside the front entrance. They don’t seem to know how to react when he comes out alone. “Where’s Alex?” Kyle finally asks.

He watches the horror dawn on their faces when he tells them. Greg storms off, and Michael can’t blame. Knowing you father is an abusive ass is one thing, finding out he’s willing to kidnap and murder his own son is whole different level of evil.

“We’re not leaving him,” Liz says with determination.

“Can you diffuse the bomb, you know with,” Max wiggles his fingers at Michael.

“Yeah, probably, if I knew where it was. I couldn’t find anything in the room with Alex, but it’s not like I know what to look for.”

“Alright, so we get some blueprints or something and figure out where the bomb could be.”

It’s not much of a plan, but Michael is just glad no one is giving up. He heads back to the building, stopping when Max calls his name.

“Michael, where are you going?”

“Back to Alex.”

“You can’t. What if we can’t find it in time? It’s not safe.”

Michael snorts, “I’m not leaving him alone, Max, so figure it out. The only way I walk out of that building is with Alex.” Michael goes inside, mentally locking all the doors behind him so no one can try to follow him.

Alex looks surprised to see him which pisses him off.

“You shouldn’t have come back,” he protests.

“Nowhere else to be,” Michael shruggs and sits down a few feet away from Alex. Not close enough to upset him. “You hurt?”

“Concussions mostly cleared up, a few cracked ribs, they dislocated my shoulder, but put it back in, my leg’s not real happy. All in all, not too bad.” 

Michael takes a deep breath. “I’m going to undo the handcuffs now, ok?” When Alex doesn’t object, he easily opens them up and lets them fall to the floor.

“Thanks,” Alex brings his arms forward, rubbing his hands together. “You need to leave now.”

“Stop telling me that,” Michael shakes his head. “I don’t want to fight with you, not now.”

“You can’t stay. You have your family, you have Maria.”

“So do you,” Michael interrupts. “You have a whole group of people out there willing to run in here for you, including your one decent brother.”

“It’s not the same.”

“You have me,” Michael continues as if Alex hadn’t spoken. “You have me.”

“Not anymore,” Alex shakes his head. “And that’s okay, I told you before, I understand.”

“Listen to me, please. I fucked up, with you, with Maria. But I’m done pretending. From now on, it’s you and me. Whatever happens, we face it together, whatever we need to do, we do it together.” Michael gets to his knees and shuffles slowly toward Alex. “Maria knows. She said to tell you not to worry about her, that we deserve each other.”

Alex quirks a brow at Michael, looking cautiously hopeful, but he doesn’t say anything.

“She said it nicer than that,” Michael laughs, stopping as he gets as close to Alex as he dares. “There’s so much I need to say to you, but i don’t want to do it here. So you have to come with me, and after we leave, I’m going to take you out, and we’ll drive out to the desert like we used to and lay in the back of my truck. I want to tell you how I feel, and what I want for you, for us. We can make plans like we used to when we were kids, only this time we’ll make them happen. I want to whisper every ridiculously romantic thing I should have said to you into your ear. And when we remember it, you’ll think of looking at the stars in my arms, not sitting trapped in that chair. How’s that sound?”

Michael leans forward enough to rest face in Alex’s lap. He hears a gentle, “Michael,” as Alex’s hands come to rest in his hair, and he breaks. He wraps his arms around Alex’s knees and sobs. He thinks if this is it, if this is all they get, he should just tell Alex everything. How much he loves him, how he remembers every time Alex has ever touched him, how Alex is every future he’s too afraid to dream of. But Caulfield all over again, and he can’t do that again. He can’t let the only times they are honest with each other be tainted with anger and fear.

Neither of them move until Michael’s phone rings, shattering the moment. Michael wipes his face and answers quickly when he sees Max’s name on the screen. “Yeah.”

“Can you talk?”

“Give me a second,” he stands and moves away. He doesn’t want Alex to hear if it’s bad news. His heart breaks again when Alex reaches for him. “It’s okay, darlin. I”m not leaving, I’ll be right here.” He turns away because he can’t look at Alex right now. “What did you find out.”

“That car we passed was Flint. Jenna ran him down then she and Greg interrogated him. When they were done, Isobel went in to make sure he was telling the truth.”

“And?”

“There’s a bomb”

“No, no, no,” Michael starts before Max can say more.

“Michael, listen to me,” Max snaps, getting his attention back. “The bomb is on a timer, there’s no pressure switch.”

“Then why?”

“This part’s pretty twisted. From what Isobel could piece together, Jesse wanted Alex to watch you leave him alone to die. He left Alex a way to get out, but it doesn’t seem like he cared one way or another.”

“Fucking bastard,” Michael swears before refocusing. “How much time do we have?”

“About an hour. Greg might be able to disarm it, but he doesn’t want to risk it unless we have to. To get to a safe distance, we need to leave soon. Is there going to be any problems getting Alex out?”

“Other than the fact that his father convinced him he’s going to die here alone, we’re good.”

“Michael, let us in. Kyle’s dying to get a look at Alex, and we can help you.”

“No, you’ll just put more pressure on him. I’ll get him out in time; I just don’t want to force him unless I have to. I’m gonna go, I’ll see you outside.”

He turns back around and finds Alex’s expressionless mask back in place. “Hey,” he walks back toward him casually, trying to get Alex to see there’s nothing wrong. “They caught Flint. He told them the bomb is on a timer. We can walk out of here.”

“He’s lying.”

“Isobel checked. We’re safe Alex, but we do need to go.”

“It’s a trick. You’re wasting time, just go.”

Michael sees all the progress he made fading away. “I’m not leaving you. We go together or not at all.”

“Don’t be stupid, Guerin.”

Michael flinches at the use of his last name. “Alex, I’m telling you we can both leave. You have to believe me.”

“And then what? You’re the one who told me my father would never change, and you were right. I can’t trust any hope that comes from him. If Flint’s lying or if he lied to Flint, we both die. Our friends and family waiting outside die. I won’t risk that.”

“I’ll send them away.”

“Michael, at some point I’m going to lose my balance or pass out, you can’t be here when that happens.”

“The timer is going to go off long before that happens,” Michael blows out a frustrated breath. 

“Then you all leave now. Leave me your phone, and when you’re far enough away to be safe, call me, and I’ll walk out.” Alex almost looks pleased with his plan.

“I’m not leaving. No one is leaving, and now you’re the one wasting time.” Michael knows he’s doing this wrong. Yelling at Alex is just trapping them in an endless argument neither of them can win.

“I’m not leaving,” he tries again softly. He moves to stand in front of Alex, then kneels again and rests his hands on Alex’s thighs. “I’m not leaving you alone. I believe we can walk out of here together, I need you to believe it too.”

“I can’t,” Alex’s voice is barely a whisper.

“Please,” Michael fights back his own tears. “You told me you were looking for a reason to stay on this planet. Let me be that reason. Just for today, stay for me. The tomorrow will find another reason and then another and another. As many as you need, but you have to come with me.”

“What if you’re wrong.”

“I’m not,” Michael shakes his head desperately.

“How can you be sure?”

“Because I have to be. I told you, whatever we do, we do it together.” He reaches one hand up to stroke Alex’s hair from his face. “Come with me.”

“Ok,” Alex leans down and rests his head against Michael’s. After a moment, he laughs wetly, “I’m not sure I can get up.”

“It’s ok, darlin, I got you.” Michael loops Alex's arms around his neck, and uses his hands to support Alex’s waist. He stands slowly, letting Alex come up with him. “You good?” 

“Yeah,” Alex breathes, tucking his face into Michael’s neck.

Michael could stay there forever, holding Alex, but he knows they need to go. “Time to move. I’m going to take a step back, and you come with me.”

Alex tightens his hold on Michael, but nods into his neck. He guides Alex one step from the chair. “We can’t go on that date unless we move a little faster,” he encourages when he feels Alex start to freeze.

They are almost to the door when Alex goes almost limp in his arms, shaking in relief. “We’re ok.”

He looks up at Michael, eyes red but he’s smiling and beautiful, and Michael wants to kiss him more than anything. He settles for wiping away the few tears that have escaped from his eyes.

“We’re ok,” he whispers back just before Alex kisses him.


End file.
